Friday, January 22, 2010

Random things I’ve said or done while drinking.

Acquired an odd assortment of scrapes and bruises, including one in my armpit.

Danced with a 6 foot transvestite in 6 inch stilettos.

Told a very attractive man that I’d take him up on his offer to take me home if I wasn’t married, ‘cause, “I’ve never had sex with a black man”.

Had an in depth conversation about potty training a child while waiting in line in the bathroom of a gay bar.

Had a “You too? Does your mom know?” moment when I unexpectedly ran into my cousin at the same gay bar.

Bought several rounds of Blow Job shots for a group of Swedish tourists, ‘cause they laughed like school girls every time I did.

Danced on a bar top.

Defended my moral purity to a cab driver.

Challenged a group of frat boys to a chugging competition in order to get the table I wanted at a bar. I won.

Danced the Macarena.

Asked a man to but his penis in my ear to keep it warm.

Made out with Poison Ivy.

Had a spiritual moment laying in a hot tub in the rain.

Rode, clown car style in the back of a strangers car.

Danced on a stripper pole.

Rebuilt an engine.

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