Let's talk about sex.

Conversation 1
“How do you make a baby?”
Okay, I can do this. “It takes a seed and an egg.”
“Oh, okay”

Conversation 2
“So, how do you make a baby?”
“You need a seed and an egg.”
“Where do you get the seed and the egg?”
I visualize her smashing an acorn into a chicken egg. “The daddy has a special seed and the mommy has an special egg.”
“And they make a baby in a mommy’s tummy?”
“Yep.”
“Oh, okay.”

Conversation 3
“How does a baby get in a mommy’s tummy?”
“The daddy has a seed and the mommy has an egg.”
“But how does the baby get into the mommy’s tummy?”
Oh god, not at four, thank you. “When you mix the egg and the seed. . . Hey can you get us a cookie?”
“Cookie!”

Conversation 4
“How does the seed and the egg get into the mommy’s tummy”
“When you mix them. Hey, what do you want for dinner?”
“Oooooh, nachos!”

Please, I beg of you. Help me. I need better answers, the right balance of honesty and developmental appropriateness; otherwise I’ll have a fat preschooler who will grow up conditioned to eat every time the subject of sex comes up.