So I have two reoccurring sexual fantasies. Well, I have many more than that, but these two are the ones that are least likely to get me arrested; besides they resonate the most with me. The first will, I am sure, be adopted by any woman who reads this blog.
All of these elements must be in place for it to work. A summer night, a heavy thunderstorm, occasional lightening, gentle rain and a hammock. It will be warm, with cool droplets hitting our skin, the loud clash of thunder drowning out any sounds, the occasional flash of lightening illuminating our bodies suspended in air. . . . uh, sorry, what were we talking about?
Oh yes, the second, well it’s a bit more specialized. It involves a large sunken bathtub and a few hundred packets of sparkling white grape Jell-O. Don’t ask me why. I don’t even really like the taste of Jell-O. Or the feel of slimy sticky grossness on my skin. Yet, there it is. . . . sigh.
So imagine my discomfort the last time we sat down to watch an allegedly wholesome kids movie and this part came on
I know, right?
No?
Fine.
Unfortunately Jell-O has discontinued sparkling white grape, and peach just doesn’t resonate the same way. So if any of you have a couple of hundred boxes lying around, oh and an industrial refrigerator, I promise to think of you while I’m cooking it all up.
Thank you.
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