Day 14 - Write a letter to a hero that has let you down.

Dear dad. . .
Sorry, it is cliché, but it is true. You were my calm, my peaceful bit of sanity in a loud and crazy life. You broke my heart when you could not handle me becoming a young woman, full of my own crazy. I thought I would never lose that closeness, but I did. You were the adult and you should have worked harder to stay connected to me. I know it is hard; I have a teenager now who looks at me like I looked at you.

The responsibility is ridiculous, the miles and months apart make it near impossible. I understand. I no longer judge, because I see you as a full grown adult now. And as a full grown adult, I can say, you let me down. I still love you though. 

I just hope I do a better job than you.

Day 13 - A band or artist that has gotten you through some tough ass days.

I feel all, "Oh mom, do I have to?", about this. I love music. LOVE. I couldn't tell you most artists I like, or the songs I like, but I hear it on the radio, or Pandora, or a car driving by, and it slides me into a mood. A song makes me happy, mellows me out, gets me pumped, allows me to be sad, gives me hope and reminds me that I am not alone.

As for "tough ass days", I've had a few, and I latch onto a band. I listen to the album, I replay a song over and over. I pour all my ugly feelings and misery into the rhythm, the lyrics become my mantra. Then I start to feel better. Then I find a happy band or a happy song, and I move on. A few months, years or decades later I hear the song and that melancholy washes over me again.

I tend not to look back. Who wants to experience old depression when there is fresh new depression to enjoy?

Songs that strike a cord with me are bittersweet. They recognize the sadness but hope for a better tomorrow. They are honest about the ugly in us all, but don't assume it will be our ruination. I grew up southern baptist, that probably has a great deal to do with it.

To this day, my favorite song of all time is Amazing Grace. It makes me ache, lifts me up and makes me feel all clean inside.  One of the best moments in violin was when I learned to play this song. Badly. Oh well. Here. Listen to this version. 'Cause nothing sells a white slave owners song written to a african sorrow chant like an Asian guy who sounds like a blonde chick. Enjoy.



p.s.  I truly did try to find a perfect version to post, but they are all so chock full of vibrato and silliness, nothing like the pure melody that i hear in my head.

Why you will win if we play scrabble.

Well.  I can't spell.  Even with the entire alphabet at my disposal.  Let alone only 7 letters.  Or four in this case. 

Unless I can use words in Hawaiian maybe. Even then it doesn't look good.

 

Oh, for the love of consonants. (Although if there was an H, I could spell "I O U a HUG". I don't think that is allowed in traditional Scrabble though.

Not only a low scoring word, but also indicitave of the direction my game is heading.



Again, not allowed in competition Scrabble, but great for my not so inner geek. For those not in the know, the Borg are characters in Star Trek. They are cybernetic organisms who seek to ad to their own perfection by assimilating other races into their collective. They were first seen in Star Trek: The Next Generation, but became widely known when Jeri Ryan made her smoking hot debut as Seven of Nine in Star Trek: Voyager. For those of you who have tuned out or are picturing me with a pocket protector, just substitute the G for the E and you are covered too.