This is purely hypothetical

Lets pretend I have been known to spend a few hours reading cheap fantasy smut. You know, the dress rending, flowery/graphic sort of thing. And lets pretend that a fair share of the aforementioned smut features vampires. Not the hand holding Twilight type, 'cause premarital sex is ok in my book. I mean I'm not buying a cow unless I try the milk. (now that's just dirty)

And lets say the husband HATES the whole vampire thing. Not because it is juvenile and trendy, but because he actually feels more of a connection with werewolves. So, hypothetically, of course, I am getting hot for the wrong team. So after a few months of grumbling, I decide to try a few werewolf stories. And um, no. Well, mostly no.

So for fun, here is why.

Vampires
Generally portrayed as intelligent, worldly, arrogant and slightly bored loners. I am like a moth to a flame with that sort of thing.
Werewolves
Generally portrayed as spiritual, ritualistic, instinctively driven, pack creatures. This is great too, as long as I don't have to sit around a campfire in a loin cloth listening to the history of your people. Plus, I probably won't like your pack. I don't like most people.

Vampires
Very old. That equals experience, skills. SKILLS people. And who can ague with a lover who knows exactly what to do?
Werewolves
Typical human life span. Normal range of human SKILLS. Plus they are more like animals. When is the last time you've seen a male lion wonder if the female lion is having a good time?

Vampires
Smooth perfect skin, strong, coordinated.
Werewolves
Hairy. Strong. Hairy. Lopping. HAIRY.

Vampires
Blood. Eh. Might kill you. Ok not so much.
Werewolves
Are apt to sniff your crotch. With wolf noses. Just say no to bestiality.

Vampires
Usually financially well off, with no real concern for money. Live in comfy, lovely homes with a rich history.
Werewolves
Live in caves, or huts in the middle of freaking nowhere. Might actually need food stamps.

Vampires
From another era. Often more gentlemanly, with charming antiquated habits.
Werewolves
From now. Blah. I'm from now, it's not very antiquated.

Vampires
Pale, lithe, tragic, flawed. Makes me all Florence Nightingale-y
Werewolves
Usually Native American. Tanned, built, warm. Hmmm.. sorry, what? I got distracted. Oh yes, WOLF noses. EWW.